We Will Always Have the Memories… Won’t We?

Ah… So many memories... Writing my post yesterday on a few of my earliest gaming memories sent a tide of nostalgia washing over me. It sent me on a quest online for dates, pictures and all the other info that I needed to compile my post. In doing so, I came across video and pictures of some of those games I discussed, as well as some other stuff I had completely forgotten about. It was a great feeling.




I used to get this magazine - it came with a tape containing a bunch of game demos


My post today, however, turns to what I consider to be the darker side of nostalgia. On the one hand, re-capturing moments from the past is awesome. Nothing describes the feeling one gets from watching a video of a TV show one enjoyed as a child, or discovering a website that provides a wealth of info one’s favourite movie, book, or game. Sometimes, just hearing the title of some long-forgotten thing is enough to spark a fountain of memories inside.

Indeed, I hope that through my recent posts I have encouraged you to reflect on your own early gaming experiences. However, a word of caution from one who knows: Dig too deeply into those half-forgotten memories, and you may find yourself regretting it. Sometime over the last few years, I embarked on a nostalgic spree – that is, I begun seeking out info on all of those things I cherished the most growing up. Many of these included TV Shows like Thundercats, Knightmare, Real Ghostbusters, and Watt on Earth. These were shows that I simply loved as a child. In fact, during a time where school was most certainly not included on my best-memories list, it was these shows that pulled me through, giving me something to look forward to at the end of each day, and through the following week.

Thinking back to these shows later in life was both rewarding and torturous. Trying to remember what a particular character looked like, or how that theme music actually sounded like, was fun, but also frustrating as the vast majority of the details would elude me. However, we now live in an age where such problems are a thing of the past. The Internet is the main culprit here. Scouring sites like Youtube and Wikipedia over recent years has yielded a ton of material: everything from the intros to the shows and thorough episode guides, through to full online episodes. Not to mention, the wealth on fan-sites which allow members to discuss everything they remember about the shows.
However, all this is well and good – up to a point. As I mentioned, I went through a period where I actively sought information on these shows. Finding episode guides and the occasional uploaded episode was a great moment – after all, this is exactly what I went looking for. But the best part was they only offered a partial glimpse into those shining memories. They gave me a burst of nostalgic joy. They helped jog my memory. But they didn’t tell me everything… so I still had to rely of what I could (barely) remember for myself. That is, until now. When I tracked down entire compilations of the series on DVD. Now I have all the answers. Now, suddenly, my quest for recollections came to an end. Oh, the moment of actually getting the DVDs, and playing them once, even twice, was a totally thrilling experience, full of “Oh! I remember that!” moments. But when that rush was over, it left a somewhat depressing emptiness in its wake.

Who needs CDs, when you can have your games on tape?

Now, wait. Isn’t this supposed to be a blog about videogames? Yes it is, and trust me, I’m getting there. For everything I’ve said so far about my experience with the TV shows has also been true of certain games. In yesterday’s post, I talked about the loading screen – while I was thinking and writing about that, I found myself trying to remember exactly what it looked and sounded like. Exactly what colour were those flickering lines? Was that noise really how I thought I remembered it? Last night, out of curiosity, I looked on Youtube, typed in the words “ZX Spectrum loading screen”, and saw a result for a video which showed the entire loading period of a Spectrum title. Not the game itself, just the loading screen I discussed. I watched it, of course, and – just like that. I once again know exactly what it was like. All those questions, answered with a mere two minutes’ work, and a brief 10-minute video.

Remember Dizzy: That game all about the egg I mentioned yesterday… I have actually re-played that title in recent years. All because it was available to download over the Internet and play through a program designed to emulate the ZX Spectrum. Also yesterday, I came across a fan website for the Dizzy series: Yolkfolk.com (check it out here). It’s a fantastic website were fans of the games gather to reflect on their experiences, as well as providing a wealth of info about the games. As before, I am both grateful that all this stuff is out there, but at the same time, a little annoyed. I know it’s my choice if I want to go trawling through the web looking for this kind of thing, but that part of me that so desperately wants to remember is a difficult beast to tame.

To wrap up an (unexpectedly) long rant, I believe that Nostalgia, in the way I have been thinking about it, is at risk of becoming, ironically, a thing of the past. I’m glad that I reached the age where I began yearning for things from my childhood, before a time when retrieving such memories became so darned effortless. Kids growing up these days will still get those same nostalgic cravings at some time in their life, but, for them, I fear the ease of satisfying those cravings will do away with the whole point – that is: wanting to remember, just not too much.